Devotional
Archives--Expectant Living
February
28, 2005 —
Expectancy
(Dedicated to my friend, Jennifer)
A friend promised me a surprise, telling me it would be
received in the mail the following day. She said GOD had told her to send
it, that HE wanted to bless me. Waiting expectantly, I wondered what my
gift would be. I went through my day listening for the sound of the
mailman’s vehicle, waiting for the crunch of his tires at my mailbox.
When the doorbell rang that afternoon, I threw open the door, only to
discover our family’s monthly delivery of vitamin supplements.
The present didn’t come that day so I assumed it would
arrive the next. It didn’t. When the third day came, my ear wasn’t
quite so tuned to the sounds of the postman. As another day crawled by, I
quit listening for the doorbell.
Hope. It’s hard to hold onto it when our dreams are
delayed.
Expectancy seems impossible when desires are crushed and
longings unfulfilled. The wisest man who ever lived, Solomon, even
commented on this in Proverbs 13:12. He said, "Hope deferred makes
the heart sick."
I was going through a difficult season when my friend
mailed that package. Many of my dreams seemed like lifeless papers shoved
to the back of a shelf. Things I’d hoped for hadn’t seen fulfillment—even
things I thought God had whispered He would give me. And, I’d almost
quit expecting them. The promised gift in the mail got my hopes up, hopes
for something special from the Father, via my friend. And, when it didn’t
arrive, the disappointment I felt was all too familiar—unfulfilled
expectations. Desire dashed.
Eventually my friend and I talked. She discovered that the
mail service she’d used sent the gift by ground instead of overnight
air. She admonished me to live with an expectant heart. She said the
delayed gift was a good example of how we have to learn to trust that God
is working on our behalf, even when we don’t see it—that I should
expect God to be working for my heart's desires.
When the package arrived, it was full of gifts obviously
chosen to minister to me—beautiful, delicate, extravagant presents all
in a fabric covered gift box. I stared at the gifts’ elegance, so
completely different from the rough and tumble world of a house full of
boys and no budget for home decorating. I wondered where I could place
such lovely things in my worn-out (but well-loved) home.
Over the next several days I found the perfect placement
for the various items—and I used them. One day the children were gone
and I filled my new teapot with boiling water, popped in a couple of
packages of the new herb tea, lit a candle underneath the scented wax, and
put classical music on. Ah . . the present had been worth the wait.
The beautiful gift box sits in a prominent place in my
living room. It’s cheerful, elegant fabric, just my favorite color,
reminds me that God knows my desires, my dreams . . . my . . . heart. He’ll
carry out His plans for me. His gifts for my life aren’t heading to the
wrong address. He didn’t change His mind at the last minute and decide
not to send them. They are in the mail. They just haven’t arrived.
When God gives us a promise, we can believe it will happen
in His perfect time.
Father, sometimes you whisper beautiful things to me
and I get my hopes up. When I don’t see the fulfillment of those
desires, I too often become discouraged and doubt the very things You’ve
already set in motion. Give me the faith to keep hoping in You and the
patience I need for the wait.
***********************************************************************************
March
7, 2005 —
The
Empty Box
“He will lead me on the best pathway for my life.
He will guide me and watch over me.” A paraphrase of Psalm 32:8
A friend peeked through the little glass opening on
the classroom door. I excused myself from the students long enough to
receive the beautiful gift bag she held out.
After class, I eagerly lifted the pretty white tissue
paper from the bag, which was decorated with a fabric snowman amidst
sparkling snowflakes. I reached into the bag and pulled out silver and
blue box, the kind jewelry comes in. When I read the words “sterling
silver” a smile teased the corners of my mouth.
I lifted the lid. The box was empty! Frowning, I
reached back into the gift bag, finding nothing except white tissue paper.
I turned it upside down and shook it, but there was no tinkling of jewelry
bouncing onto the table.
I saw my friend after class. “Did you like it?”
she asked.
“Well, I . . . uh . . . there was nothing there.”
My friend’s eyes widened and her face blushed a
pretty pink. We had a good laugh when she remembered removing the bracelet
to take off the price tag. “I know just where it is,” she said.
“It’s lying on my dresser, but it is definitely yours. I’ll get it
to you, soon.”
Alone in my car a few minutes later I began to
chuckle. The Lord evidently wanted to make sure I got the message. It was
the second delayed gift that week and I could hear the admonition of the
friend who had told me to live with an expectant heart.
You see, I’d been stomping my proverbial foot.
Moping and almost giving up on some of the very things I thought the Lord
had told me He was doing in my life. When months (even years in some
cases) had gone by without my seeing the fruition of the dreams and hopes
He’d placed within me, I’d fought that sick heart talked about in
Proverbs—the one that is ill because hope has been deferred for so long.
The incident reminded me of my friend, Jennifer
Hare’s, words: “It's funny how ordinary circumstances can somehow
cause a detour that is entirely in God's plan.”
There are areas of my life that feel like one LONG
detour—winding on unexpected paths, driving over hills I’d never
intended to climb, and crossing deep streams.
Thank God He is there when our hope is deferred. He
knows it’s hard for us to take the back roads when we thought we’d
sail to our destination on the interstate.
On those detours the Lord climbs into the car with us
and whispers His love. I think I hear Him saying, “Relax. Roll down the
window and enjoy the ride with me. Relish the adventure of unexpected
travel with the One Who loves you best. It’s in these unfamiliar places
that we discover each other more deeply.”
True hope isn’t found in the gifts of the future
(though I’ll bet they will be mind-bogglingly wonderful) but in the
unwrapping of the best present of all, His love.
So, I’m asking Him to help me embrace the journey.
I want to open the travel brochure with shinning eyes and let the top down
on the car so I can feel the wind blow through my hair as He wraps His
arms around me and points out all the sights.
The Lord already has the destination picked out and
He’s choosing the roads. He knows I’ll enjoy the arrival more after
I’ve come to know Him as my closest companion.
Perhaps I’m not “arriving” as quickly as I
wanted because He has something even better for me—Himself.
Meanwhile, the gifts He promised me are already
purchased and sitting on His dresser until the perfect time for
delivery—a time when we can truly enjoy them together.
The jewelry box my friend gave sits open and empty on
my desk as a reminder. The promises God gave me are mine—and in His
perfect time, He’ll fulfill them. Until then, I’ll seek to live in
expectation of those treasures, and enjoy the ride with Him.
Father,
give me an expectant heart, one that trusts You know the best paths and
that can learn to find joy in the detours that are entirely in Your plan.
***********************************************************************************
March
14, 2005 —
In
the Waiting
“Unrelenting
disappointment leaves you heartsick.” Proverbs 13:12a
I have some friends who remind me of Abraham. In
obedience to God’s whisper in their hearts, they moved halfway across
the country because they felt God had called them there to plant a church.
They had no job waiting them, no home, and no relatives—just God’s
pull.
It’s been a couple of years now and my friends
haven’t yet seen the fulfillment of the dream God gave them. Instead
they have suffered financially, emotionally, and physically.
The wife emailed me the other day with this message.
“My husband gave me my coffee in bed this morning with a wonderful
love note. One of the things that he said that struck me the most
is: ‘I remember all the Lord has taken from us (or allowed to be
taken) so that we can go further with him and deeper in our marriage.’
That is the heart of God. Not to rip the rug out from under us but
tenderly take us deeper in Him and deeper in our relationships here
on earth. “
Through my friends’ many sacrifices and
disappointments, I believe they are discovering the best gift of all: the
tender heart of their Father. As they know God better they enjoy a deeper
relationship with Him and each other.
Their situation reminds me of a passage Romans 5:3-5
(NLT): “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for
we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And
endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens
our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not
disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given
us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
My friends have found an expectation that doesn’t
disappoint them—the hope of a God who saved them so they can dive into
ever-deeper places of His love.
Though my friends have discovered God’s love in new
and beautiful ways, they’d attest to the truth that unrelenting
disappointment often makes them feel heartsick. They’ll tell you
they’ve had days when they both wept from the unfulfilled dreams,
loneliness, and hardships in their journey.
But they’ll also tell you they have one expectation
that never fails—the hope of a God who loves them deeply and walks with
them every step of the way.
When we face unmet expectations we have a few
choices. We can become bitter, angry, and shut down our dreams. Or we can
try to force God’s hand, rushing ahead of Him, throwing ourselves
against the walls that block our path. Neither of these options brings
peace.
For my friends, there is really only one choice. It
is to allow their deferred desires to press them deeper into the heart of
God.
When expectations are unfulfilled we don’t have to
lose hope. While we wait for our dreams we can discover something even
more wonderful, the love of our Father.
God, life in this world often disappoints. We feel
bruised and let down. Our hopes are dashed and our dreams crumble. But You
never let us down. You always offer us the greatest gift of
eternity—Yourself. Teach us to put our hope in You.
*****************************************************************************************
March
21, 2005 —
Tree
of Life
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams
come true, there is life and joy. Proverbs 13:12 (NLT)
"I’m soooooooo excited!"
I grinned a big, ole happy fill-your-face-up smile as I
read my friend’s words.
After years of working hard to learn the craft of writing,
receiving rejections on her books, and being tempted to let go of the
dream, it finally happened. She had her first book contract.
I’ve experienced this before. The first time was with my
friend, Pam. She and I had critiqued each other’s projects for a couple
of years. I’d watched her grow as a writer, pray her heart out,
surrender to God’s plans, and secure an agent.
Then it happened. My heart soared with hers and our joy
bouncing back in forth in our emails. Every time I saw her book at the
Christian bookstore or in Wal-mart my heart leapt again.
Seeing my friends’ dreams come true brought us all joy
and helped me hang onto my own dreams of that first book sale.
The New Living Translation of the Bible says, in Proverbs
113:12, "when dreams come true there is life and joy." The New
International Reader’s Version says it this way. "A longing that is
met is like a tree of life."
It isn’t only writers who dream. If you’re a mother,
you and I may share a similar "tree of life" experience, the
birth of that first child. Even after 17 hours of hard labor, little
sleep, and an aching, postpartum body, I was ALIVE—excited, strong, and
full of joy. I couldn’t wait to show off my little girl and couldn’t
sleep for looking at her. I clutched her to my heart singing to her. I
held her when she slept, when she was awake, and when she nursed.
Perhaps the joy was more pronounced because of the months
the dream was deferred. I’ll never forget the fear, disappointment, and
even anger I felt each time I realized I wasn’t pregnant during the
season we tried to have a baby.
The Message says our verse this way. "Unrelenting
disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life
around."
My husband and I have lived both ends of this verse in the
recent startup of his own business. Perhaps you’ve been through
something like this. We sacrificed to buy territories, build them up, and
market our product. Before the cash flow started we were beginning to feel
heartsick—but, after a few good breaks, when our product began to sell,
we rejoiced. Later, problems with the parent company slowed down
production and cost us sales and we felt that old heartsick feeling
return.
Life is full of both the devastation of "unrelenting
disappointment" and the wild joy of dreams coming true. We need to be
patient with ourselves in the hard stuff. It’s natural to shed tears and
cry out to God for mercy. Sometimes we find deep blessing in the
disappointments, as we allow them to help us press closer into the arms of
our Father, but it’s never fun.
Thank God, weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes
in the morning!*
Sometimes the bud of hope we hold onto blossoms into
flowers of fulfillment. Other times God gives us different dreams.
In the hard times, it’s good to remember there are also
seasons of celebration.
Father, comfort me and give me patience and hope in
seasons of disappointment. And when the dreams are fulfilled, may I
rejoice in You.
*(Paraphrase
of Psalm 30:5)
*****************************************************************************************
March
28, 2005 —
Love
As I Wait
“Why are
you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance
and my God.” Psalm 42:11 (NKJV)
Sometimes to hope feels like trying to grasp
slippery Jell-O. We struggle to feel God’s love and to believe in the
hopes held in our hearts.
Unmet expectations,
disappointment, and delayed realization of dreams can roar around us
drowning out the Father’s care. Sometimes these situations leave me
huddled under the covers, afraid to try again. I feel lonely, overworked,
inadequate, and ignored. I suspect most of you have felt this as well.
Though God sacrificed His son
so we can live with Him forever; wrote a love letter, so we can read of
His care; and romances our hearts, we can still feel unimportant to Him.
I felt that way recently and
whined to Him that I wanted more attention.
He probably chuckled and
thought of all the gifts He’s given me that I’ve not noticed. Maybe He
remembered the days I’ve rushed about, scarcely giving Him a thought. He
could have reprimanded me for allowing a busy schedule to crowd out our
special time alone. Or rolled His eyes and said, “Just read the Book! I
sacrificed all to be close to you. Have you forgotten the cross?”
I deserved for Him to point out
my selfishness, my ingratitude, and my inability to love Him well.
But He didn’t.
He just lavished His love upon
me in a myriad of ways. One day during that difficult week a friend
appeared at my door with a bouquet of flowers. She told me that she
thought God wanted me to have them.
I gave her a hug and reached
for the cheerful bouquet. It included a carnation that was a rare color of
pink—my favorite. Overwhelmed by His extravagant love, I thought, “my
God knows just what I like.”
My friend, He knows what
touches your heart as well. He is the Ultimate Lover. He is the One who
knows your needs.
Most of us have unfulfilled
hopes that threaten to break us as we wait for them, but as we wait, we
are not alone. We can rest in His love. Believe it. Accept it. Embrace it.
Revel in it.
I’m reminded of Mary
Magdalene as she wept at the foot of the cross. Her hopes died with her
Savior. He had offered her a new life, one that rose above the ashes of
her past. She believed him capable of anything—but failure. In her
limited perspective His death must have crushed her expectations. She must
have felt as if she had nothing to hope for. Yet, I believe even as she
prepared His body she clung to this one truth: He had seen past her
failings and loved her.
On Resurrection Day, it was to
Mary who saw the two angels in the tomb and to Mary that Jesus first
appeared in His raised state. She was given the joyful task of telling the
disciples that the Lord had risen.
I don’t know why God chose
her to play this special role in the most important event in history, but
I’ve no doubt that it had something to do with His love for her—and
perhaps how much she counted on that love.
As we face difficult days, when
our hopes are dashed and our limited perspective proclaims them unfounded,
there is one thing we can always know. We are loved.
Father, as I sit at the
keyboard this evening I think of the people you’ve allowed me to share
my heart with. I think of the hard days they face, the disappointments
that come upon them, and the journeys that have been long. And I wonder if
they, like me, sometimes doubt Your love. I pray for each of us, Lord,
like Paul did for the people in Ephesus, that we will find Christ more and
more at home in our hearts and that our roots will go down deeply into the
soil of Your marvelous love. I ask that we would have the power to
understand how wide, long, high, and deep your love really is—that we
would experience the fullness of life and power that comes from you, the
One Who is able to accomplish infinitely more than we could ever dream of.
Please give each of us a tender moment of very personal love from Your own
hand and our eyes to see it and our hearts to receive it.*
*prayer
based on the NLT version of Ephesians 3:16-20
