Devotional Archives--I AM, Part 2

September 26, 2005 —

The Bread of Life

“Jesus replied, I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to Me will never be hungry, and he who believes in and cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me will never thirst any more (at any time).” John 6:35 (Amp)

I love the smell of bread baking. The scent wafts through our home, filling it not only with a pleasant aroma, but also with a sense of provision, warmth, and family. During his single days, my husband would sometimes bake whole wheat bread as a treat for himself. (Before you are too impressed, let me say that his daily meal repertoire was quite limited!)

After we married, I set about learning to bake bread as a way to show him my love. I wasn’t one of these women who could pull it off every day, or even every week, but whenever I did, it was certainly appreciated. As the children came, four of them in six years, baking bread was something I found I had less and less energy for. My sister-in-law decided that we should own a bread machine and she bought me one for Mother’s Day. We were quickly hooked and have worn out several machines since that first one.

Even with the bread machine, I quickly tired of keeping up with our family’s demands for fresh bread and when my husband became the primary bread maker, I relinquished the task willingly.

A loaf often doesn’t last long in our home. When it’s pulled, fresh and steaming from the machine, we tend to crowd into the kitchen. A whole meal can be made of bread, milk, and applesauce or bread, honey, and cheese.

Jesus calls Himself the bread of life. It’s easy to make the application: Jesus is the very nourishment for our soul. Relying on His nourishment satisfies our spiritual appetite and need.

But I think there’s more to this thought of Jesus as bread. As I mentioned, I’ve begun to associate homemade bread with a sense of home—of provision, even love. Clustering around our kitchen table and eating my husband’s bread nourishes more than my body. It feels like family. It feeds my heart.

When Jesus says He is the bread of life, He is inviting us to feast on Him. He wants to be our family, our sense of home. He wants to be our life. We feast on Jesus by inviting His constant presence into our life, by focusing on Him instead of trying to fill our hunger with other people or things.

Feasting on Jesus means we believe in Him, cleave to Him, trust Him and rely on Him. He isn’t just a snack. He’s the nutrition that fills us. He is provision for all our needs. He is love to our hungry souls. And, unlike me, He never runs out of the energy to provide the bread we need. In fact, He says He is so nourishing that we will never be hungry again.

That’s quite a statement. When I eat of Jesus I’ll never have hunger again? I’ve questioned that Scripture more than once. There have been plenty of times my heart has felt hungry. But what I’m discovering is that the more I rely on Jesus—the more He becomes the very thing that sustains me, the less my heart rumbles and growls. The more at peace I feel. He satisfies my hunger to be completely and deeply loved, and no one can take that away from me.

Sometimes I chose to feed my hunger with something besides Jesus. It might be as simple as grabbing a piece of chocolate when I’m sad or as complicated as turning to a relationship to fill the empty spot only Jesus can fill. When I turn to anything except Jesus, the result is that whatever nourishment I’ve received (if I’ve received any!) quickly passes through my heart and soon I’m hungry again.

The Jesus meals I ingest don’t slip through my spirit. They aren’t one time nourishment. They keep providing what I need days, weeks, and even years later.

Jesus says “The one who makes a meal of me lives because of me.” John 6:57b (The Message) I want to make a meal of Jesus—to rely on His provision for all my soul, spirit, and heart needs.

Father, in Your awesome, mystical way, fill my every hunger pang. Be my every meal. Help me to rest in Your presence and provision instead of turning to people or things that don’t satisfy.
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October 3, 2005 —

The Light of the World

“Jesus said to the people, "I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't be stumbling through the darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." John 8:12

Our family likes to camp. I’m always a bit amazed by how quickly a tent can grow pitch black and by how a flashlight can illuminate it. When the flashlight is off I can’t see to find my socks, much less read a book or walk around without tripping over my children. But when the light is on, I can do any of that without even thinking about it.

When Jesus came to earth He repeatedly called Himself the light of the world. His actions shone brightly the way of love and grace. As the light of the world, He also provided all the truth needed to find life in God. He says if we follow Him we won’t stumble around, but we’ll know where we’re going.

In the big picture this is fairly easy for me to grasp. His truth shows me how to enter into relationship with God. It shows me how to live in grace and love. Jesus says that He gives His spirit to those who follow Him so that we can know how to do things His way.

It’s the little things, the daily living of a life of light where I struggle. I have all of these bad habits and ways of relating to others that don’t shine brightly of love or grace. I also feel like sometimes I do stumble around, unsure of the path I am to walk. I’d like God to turn the light on in the tent. I want it bright enough that I see the whole picture and know my every move.

Instead, sometimes it seems like I have a tiny little flashlight that only illuminates a small circle at my feet. I can barely see two steps ahead of me! There are decisions, sometimes hard decisions, that I have to make and I wish God would give me a big, swooping answer to them. You know, I wish He’d just send an email that would tell me how to approach career questions or other specific issues I’m dealing with.

I thought a lot about why He does that. I’m sure I won’t know all the answers until I ask Him someday when I get to see Him face to face. I have figured out one thing, though. If He gave me all-encompassing answers to certain questions, I doubt I’d seek Him so much.

Sometimes it is in the hardest situations, when there are no clear-cut answers, that I seek Him the most. It’s in the biggest dreams that I beg for a step-by-step plan. And when I do that, we hang out together more. I get to know Him better—how He thinks and how He moves. And He teaches me to trust Him more because I don’t know what tomorrow will hold.

It’s like He puts this huge light in my heart that illuminates my whole life and gives me a whole new worldview, but in the details of daily living He just walks next to be with a flashlight, showing me how to walk a step at a time.

In high school my cousin gave me this great cassette tape that helped shape my life. The artists sang, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.”

I’m glad Jesus came to Earth and illuminated the whole world. I’m also glad that He lights my every step, one little circle at a time. I’d rather take this journey holding His hand than glibly walking in light without really getting to know the Light-giver.

Father, help me to trust you and follow in courage each little step you illuminate.

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October 10, 2005 —

The Gate, Part 1

I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good--sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for--will freely go in and out, and find pasture. John 10: 7b-9 (The Message)

Our family has an old blue tent. It’s this huge cavern of canvas that easily sleeps all six of us. When the children were younger my husband, Jerry, always positioned himself by the tent door when we camped. Anyone who tried to get to his family had to come through him first. We felt safe knowing Jerry was standing guard between the world and us.

In our tent we had our own little community. Everyone there belonged to each other. We were family. If someone needed to go outside during the night, they went with Jerry, who’d carry a flashlight and show them safely to their destination, seeing that their needs were met.

Sometimes we camped with family or friends. Once that tent flap was zipped, entrance was only for those whose voice Jerry recognized. He’d readily allow a young cousin or friend to join our little tent community, but he didn’t welcome strangers.

Jesus calls Himself the gate or the door. In this passage he’s using the image of a shepherd to explain himself. In Eastern culture the sheep were often kept in natural pens made of rocks or caves. A shepherd who took care of his sheep would literally sleep lying in the opening to the pen.

Anything that came into the fold had to go through the shepherd. The shepherd chose who was welcomed into His community and protected his sheep from those who would harm them. His sheep knew and trusted him. He freely led them in and out of the pen, finding water and good pasture. He took care of them.

When Jesus claims to be the gate, he is explaining that he is the way to get to be in God’s family. He is also promising to protect those in His care and to show them how to live life as a part of His community. He promises to teach us how to walk freely through life following His lead, and that He will help us find what we need.

I like the image of Jesus that comes to mind as I remember my husband sleeping by the flap of our tent. It reminds me that He is always there, protecting me and offering Himself as the leader of my family. I like it that He sleeps in the tent with us, giving us a chance to get to know His ways and learn the sound of His voice. It encourages me that He knows His way around the campgrounds of my life and that He’ll walk with me, carrying the flashlight, to illuminate the paths He wants to lead me upon.

Jesus, thank you for offering your very self as a living, breathing entrance to your family. Thank you that you don’t stop there, but that you continue to give yourself in relationship, protecting me and showing me the best way to go.

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October 17, 2005 —

The Gate, Part 2

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I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn't listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for--will freely go in and out, and find pasture. John 10: 7b-9 (the Message)

Recently, we enjoyed the company of parents and kids at a picnic for those involved in my son’s hockey club. It was a wonderful evening of friendship and my children enjoyed all kinds of fun activities, from baseball, to hockey, to lots of food. But, sometime during the evening, my son’s new, $100 hockey stick disappeared.

It was especially upsetting because my son had won the stick at a tournament as a reward for being chosen tournament MVP. While it is our hope that someone accidentally took it home with them and it will reappear, there is also the possibility that someone slipped into our safe community and stole it.

When Jesus talked about being the gate for the sheep, He included His concerns about thieves who would come and harass His sheep stealing from them the good life He had planned.

He says, “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and robber.” (John 10:1, NIV) Later, he says, ”The thief comes only to steal and kill an destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10: 10 NIV) He knew that there is always the danger of someone sneaking into His special community with the intent of stealing and destroying it.

How do we identify a thief in the sheep pen? We watch how he enters and we study the results of his efforts. Does he come to us in the grace of Jesus? Do his words/actions dominate us or lead us with love? Does he encourage unity, bringing healing and kindness or do we grow thin and spiritually ill under his counsel?

While those who steal the full life Jesus came to give us can be human, often they are not. Some thieves are thoughts—lies that lead us away from Jesus’ care. Major thought thieves include inadequacy, shame, condemnation, guilt, rebellion, lust, doubt, and unforgiveness. Those kind of thoughts come out of experiences or teaching when our hearts were not being shepherded by the grace of Jesus. They rob us of our peace and try to keep us from living in sweet communion with Jesus.

Sometimes we unknowingly allow our hearts to be shepherded by seemingly good things that are actually robbers. We do this when we rely on anything or anyone but Jesus.

Financial security can be a blessing, but when attaining it becomes our focus, we are allowing ourselves to be shepherded by something that doesn’t satisfy. Our ministry and service to our families can be a beautiful outgrowth of time with our shepherd, or they can become a controlling taskmaster, robbing us of our relationship with Jesus by stealing our time, energy, and self-confidence.

Next time you feel your joy ebbing away, ask yourself if there just might be a thief in the sheep pen.

*Note: Most commentators connect Jesus’ teaching in John 10 with God’s words in Ezekiel 34:2 –31 where He expresses anger at the false shepherds that didn’t care for His sheep. He said when the robbers were in charge His people grew thin and sick and were dominated, left in bondage, scattered, and out of community. God promises in Ezekiel 34 to be a good shepherd, to heal His sheep and to “deliver them from all the places in which they were scattered on a cloudy and gloomy day.” You might enjoy reading about God’s promises to care for his sheep in Ezekiel 34.

PS: We found that hockey stick—guess someone put it away in the wrong place.

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October 24, 2005 —

The Good Shepherd

“I know my own sheep, and they know me.” John 10:14

I have a good friend whom I know mostly by email. We’ve only seen each other a couple of times but our understanding of each other and our care for one another has blossomed over the Internet.

She told me that in recent years she’d become a bit of a hermit, hiding her heart and protecting herself from relationships, but about a year ago God began to give her good friends on-line. This contact wasn’t as scary for her as face-to-face contact would have been. 

Now that she’s opening to friendship, He is gently prodding her to come further out of hiding and develop relationships with people in her local community.*

Her testimony reminded me that Jesus is a wonderful, tender shepherd of our hearts. The Lord didn’t push my friend immediately into community, though He knew that was best for her.

He tenderly led her, one step at a time, teaching her to trust His voice and asking her to take increasing risk as her ability to follow Him grew.  He didn’t move her too fast for the emotional wounds she’d experienced. Instead, He healed her as she could receive His Truth and guided her another step forward as her heart was able.

In my mind I see a picture of a Shepherd with a little lamb. The lamb, wounded, couldn’t walk by itself. The Shepherd bound the lamb’s wound and carried her where she needed to go, whispering into her ear how precious she was to Him. The little lamb learned the tenderness of His voice and how to distinguish it from the pushy, hurtful voices she’d listened to before getting to know the Shepherd.

The little lamb was also timid around the other sheep. One sheep had hurt her deeply and she believed the lie that she was unworthy to befriend the flock. The Shepherd kept the lamb close as she learned to walk on wobbly legs and talked to her not only of how much He loved all His sheep, but also of how the little lamb had something beautiful to offer the others.

The lamb grew more confident and began to talk with the other sheep and to discover the beauty of friendship as well as the gifts within herself that she could offer to others.

My friend is that little lamb in the Shepherd’s arms. So am I and so are you. The beautiful thing about the Good Shepherd is that He knows exactly what each of us needs. He knows the perfect timing for each new step He wants us to take, and like the Shepherd in Psalm 23, He also knows when we need a peaceful rest in green pastures, beside still waters.

Our Good Shepherd deals with us in the context of relationship. He first proved His love by sacrificing Himself on the cross, and He lives His love daily by indwelling us with His Holy Spirit, Who never leaves or forsakes us but instead offers us counsel and comfort.

Jesus says in John 10:14 that He knows His sheep and we know Him. There are times that instead of listening to the voice of the Good Shepherd, Who knows and cares for our hearts, we listen to the thieves and robbers who sneak into the sheep pen. (See last week’s devotional).

Sometimes we forget the true character of our Shepherd and push away His gentle staff of prodding, believing Him to be uncaring, untrustworthy or unloving. But if we confess our fear and rebellion, the Good Shepherd always welcomes us back into His arms and reveals Himself to us.

We learn His voice and walk close to Him. He shows us how to trust Him and let Him lead us into the best plans for our life. Our tender Shepherd knows that sometimes we’re afraid and our hearts are fragile, so He leads us a step at a time, as we are strong enough to follow.

My precious Good Shepherd, please give me a more complete understanding of what You want to do in my life. Make me wise with spiritual wisdom so I can live in ways that honor You and do good, kind things for others. As I grow like this I want to get to know You better and better. Please strengthen me with Your glorious power so I will have the patience and endurance I need. Help me to be filled with joy, always thanking You for bringing me into Your fold and promising me an inheritance with Your holy people who live in the light. Thank You for rescuing me from the one who rules in darkness and seeks to wound me. Thank you for purchasing my freedom with Your blood and forgiving my sins. (Prayer a paraphrased version of Colossians 1:9-11 (NLT))

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