Parenting
Resources
Parenting is
hands down the most difficult role I’ve ever played in life. Most people
I’ve talked with would agree. Here are some resources that have helped
us along the parenting journey. This is by no means a conclusive list and
as I have more time to develop this page I’ll add to it, so feel free to
check back. Most of these resources are also listed under Homeschooling
Hints. While I think the resources I’ve listed here are valuable, I want
to be honest about something. The thing that has helped me most in my
parenting has been allowing the Lord to probe the sin issues and wounds in
my own heart. When I’m carrying around extra baggage, the issues with my
children loom larger. Parenting is not a perfect science and no book in
the world is going to make me to everything right or even well. The most
important component in parenting is the most important piece of everything
in my life—learning to know and trust Jesus Christ.
I recently
began receiving an e-zine with parenting tips from Effective
Parenting. I’ve found the tips to be insightful, wise, and full of grace. The tips
are delivered to your email box and are free of charge. The authors, Dr.
Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN have a speaking and writing
ministry to parents. I recently began one of their books, Say Goodbye
to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids.
Though I haven’t finished it, I’ve found it to be a fresh,
demanded, but doesn’t
always reach beyond outward
compliance. Honor deals with the heart. I plan
to go back through this book in some form with my children after I finish
it. I pray I can become a mother who truly honors them and teaches them to
honor each other. I highly recommend this book. I’ll be reading more by
these authors.
Crosswalk has
a lot of resources for the family, so take some time to browse what they
offer. I have several articles archived on Crosswalk. For titles and links
see Paula
Pens.
Families
Where Grace Is In Place by Jeff Van Vonderen (Bethany House)-
This book helped us identifies ways that we respond to each other and our
children that were out of old
habits and experiences instead of God’s
grace. According to the author, Jeff VanVonderen, Christian parents want
to do things right and often put their best efforts forward only to be
left feeling tired, discouraged, and like failures.
He shows how we often pressure, control, and manipulate our spouses
and children trying to “fix” them, which only results in exhaustion
and hopelessness. VanVonderen shows the difference between God’s job and
ours. God’s job is to fix and change. Our responsibility is to depend on
the Holy Spirit, serve our families, and help to equip them to be all God
intends them to be. The first part of the book shows examples of how not
to do it. I found myself in several of the examples, thought I hate to
admit it! The end of the book helps us see God’s way to relate to our
family.
Seasons of
a Mother’s Heart by Sally Clarkson -
While this book was written primarily for a home schooling
audience, I think any mother will be encouraged by this book. Sally is so
real. She made me laugh and cry and showed me how human we all are. It is
easy to get caught up in a certain ideal of what a family should look like
and then feel discouraged when your family doesn’t look that way. God
used Sally’s words to set me free from pre-conceived notions and
self-imposed perfectionism. Sally also helped me slow down and think of
the individual personalities of each of my children. I came away with the
desire to be purposeful in asking God to show me what HE is doing in each
of their lives and how I can join Him. God used it to further my passion
for the job He’s given me—loving on my four precious kiddos and
showing them Christ. You can learn
more about this book or more
about Sally’s ministry.
Wild at
Heart by John Eldredge (Thomas Nelson) – I’m passionate about this
book. The back cover says that Eldredge “invites men to recover their
masculine heart, defined in the
image of a passionate God. And he invites
women to discover the secret of a man’s soul and to delight in the
strength and wildness men were created to offer.” Eldredge claims that
most Christian men are bored—trying to be the “good man” the church
asks them to be without connecting with the heart and soul of all God has
called them to. Every man should read this book. Every married woman or
woman who hopes to marry should read this book. Every mother should read
this book, more than once. It helped me to see my boys in a new, fresh
light and to release them to be the men God called them to be . . . and as
I read, I discovered that I’m just a bit “Wild at Heart” myself.
Bringing
Up Boys
by James Dobson (Tyndale House) – I read this at the same time I read Wild
at Heart. Dobson’s carefully researched book supports much of what
Eldredge is saying,
only Eldredge says it with passion and story and
Dobson says it with research, statistics, antidotes, and a concerned
heart. I’d recommend you read them both—each offers something the
other doesn’t. Dobson takes you deeper into the cause and effect of
different situations on a boy’s life and offers the more clinical advice
that comes from his deep experience and research. I’d say it is a more
practical book. Both books set me free to embrace my boys and all the
passion and energy that come with them.
